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Managing an out of control kid effectively is tough. Usually, parents of such kids seem helpless and look for ways to bring their unruly child under control. So how does one do so? Here are the reasons behind a child’s out of control behaviour and ways on how to calm an out of control child.
Reasons for Out of Control Behaviour in Children
A child can get unruly and behave badly if denied something that she wants or not allowed to do something that she wants to do. That is normal to some extent. A child being ill-behaved to a certain age should be considered to be normal although it can sometimes mean some kind of a behavioural disorder in the child. Therefore, to find out the real cause of a child’s out of control behaviour, we should look into the factors that may have caused it.
- Some kids try to attract attention through unruly behaviour and in the process they end up getting out of control.
- At times, it could be the lack of time or attention from parents that can push children to behave badly to get their parent’s attention.
- Often children do not understand what is right and how much is permissible. Therefore, they end up doing things which they shouldn’t be.
- Seeing parents behave in a certain manner like shouting or fighting with people, breaking things when angry etc. can make a child feel that kind of behaviour is allowed or permissible, and they too start behaving in the same way.
- A child who face the consequences or punished again and again for things that are beyond their control like scoring full marks in a particular subject in which she may not be too good at or have no interest. This can bring her morale down or may even bring down her confidence, and she may start being mischievous or badly-behaved.
- A child taking too many chocolates or too much junk food can be hyperactive. Therefore, parents are advised not to give food which is too oily, has too much sugar or fizzy and carbonated drinks.
- Intake of certain medicines for asthma or anti-histamines can affect a child’s mood and behaviour. It can either make them irritable, drowsy or too active. In such a case, it would be best to consult a paediatrician.
- Small children do not understand much about sickness or pain. They do not have enough communication skills to let people know that they are sick or in pain. So in frustration, they are either cranky or fussy for days.
- For older kids, bad behaviour could be a result of tension between parents, having no friends, being bullied at school, studies taking a toll or a change of school, teacher, house, locality, city etc.
Strategies to Deal with Out of Control Kids
Handling an out of control child is often a herculean task for parents. So if you have an out of control child what to do to tame her? Well, there can be two ways to deal with her – either you yell at her, punish her or you can help her to overcome the bad behavioural outbursts that she has by following simple strategies.
1. Set Rules
Discuss the rules with your child before setting them. A set of rules in the house will give them a clear idea of what you expect out of them.
Action to Take
Make sure they stick to the rules and routine as set by you. Abiding by it will make the child more in control of her behaviour. You can do so by asking her to use the magic words (please, sorry and thank you) more often. Whatever age your child may be, you can always ask her to help you with the everyday chores like keeping her toys in place after she finishes playing or cleaning up her study desk during the weekends.
2. Tell About The Consequences of Misbehaviour
Discuss clearly while setting rules about the consequences in case of breaking them or misbehaving. Your child will in most cases abide by them unless you have a very defiant young one.
Action to Take
Try out constructive punishments for your child. Like if she yells at someone, keep her away from everyone till the time she calms down. If in case she has hurt someone purposely, make her put an ointment or band-aid on the injury. You can make her buy something for the person whose toy she has destroyed with the money she has saved in her piggy bank. This will make her realise the value of money too.
3. Teach Self-Control
Teaching kids to exercise self-control will not only help them in their growing up years but also once they have matured. It is one of the most important things that parents should teach their kids.
Action to Take
Unlike 2-year-olds, you can practice isolation with 3-5-year-olds until they calm down. As for older kids, they are well aware of the repercussion of bad behaviour and thus can choose how to behave. However, if kids of this age still go out of control, you can ask them to stop before reacting to save them from getting into trouble.
4. Encourage Positive Behaviour
Just as there are bad consequences for bad behaviour, in the same way, good behaviour should also be rewarded. This will encourage children to behave well.
Action to Take
You can reward your child by taking her for an unexpected outing or give her a pizza treat in the middle of a week when such treats usually happen during weekends. You can also praise your child when she does a good deed or practices good behaviour. This gives a boost to her self-esteem and makes her feel good.
5. Set a Good Example
Parents are usually a role model for most children because they are the ones that a child gets to interact most apart from their peers. A child most often follows what her parents do. Therefore, setting a good example is a must for every parent.
Action to Take
Do not ask your child to do what you cannot. A child gets confused to see their parents doing just the opposite of what they are asked to do. For example, parents tell their children not to be rude to people but usually see their mother or father shouting at the maid or the newspaper vendor etc. Therefore, it is imperative that parents practice what they preach.
6. Never Let Bad Behaviour Go Unnoticed
Firstly never yell at your child whenever she throws a tantrum or misbehaves whether in public or at home. Try and keep calm till the time she is over and out with it.
Action to Take
After she is done with her tantrum, talk to her calmly but with a firm voice. You must tell her that such behaviour won’t be tolerated and she has to face consequences.
7. Give Breaks
Breaks are as important as are routines. An in-between break from an otherwise monotonous everyday routine can be refreshing and rejuvenating to a child.
Action to Take
Just as you or every one of us, your child too needs a break. A break of half an hour between studies and cleaning up her desk can do wonders for the little one. It will not just refresh her but also give her a spurt of energy to do more.
Having and handling an out of control kid is not easy; however, it is not impossible either. Try out the above strategies and see a world of change in your precious little one.
