An article which will give you quick and effective ways to handle your toddlers screaming tantrums and calm him or her down.
We’ve all seen toddlers lose their cool in public and screaming like there’s no tomorrow while one of their parents tries desperately to calm them down. We’ve all winced and pitied at the parent, while secretly being thankful it’s not us.
Well, what happens when your own toddler decides to throw a tantrum in the same way, at home or out in public? Or you end up having to deal with a toddler screaming at night? Now, you’re the one who needs to quickly calm the child down without too much drama or disturbance and at the same time, without hurting the child in any way. So how do we manage these toddler tantrums? We will discuss in detail below.
Why Do Toddlers Scream?
Rarely do you see a toddler screaming for no reason. Almost always, there is a reason, and it is up to the parents to quickly decipher what that reason is. Come to the root of the problem, if we can put it that way. Some reasons why small kids scream maybe because they are –
1. Attention Seeking
Sometimes your child may want your full attention and the only way they see that happening is by screaming, throwing things around and crying. They will do anything they can to get attention.
2. Playing
Your toddler may be just having fun with the joy of his own voice. He might try making sounds with his mouth by yelling, screaming or hollering to understand his own voice and how to modulate it.
3. Communicating
Toddlers are still practically babies and so find it hard to communicate what they want through speaking. They might resort to shouting and screaming along with gestures to tell their parents what they want. After all, we all know how frustrating it to when someone doesn’t understand what you’re saying, don’t we?
4. Full of Energy
Your toddler may be just so full of energy that she might need an outlet to vent it out. Yelling, screaming and throwing a tantrum may be the perfect outlet for her!
5. Angry Screamers
Something may have happened or may be happening that your child isn’t happy about. In fact, he is angry about. Maybe you have asked him to come inside from playing or you are not giving him your phone. In any case, he will shout and scream to show how angry he is.
Toddler Screaming Tantrums
This is a term for the specific behaviour that toddlers exhibit. Toddler tantrums are usually seen in kids between the ages of 1 and 3. These tantrums have certain characteristic identifiers along with a sudden change in attitude and temperament. Your child might be happy one minute and the next minute could be screaming his or her lungs out. It mostly occurs when the child is at a stage when he or she cannot speak well to communicate their needs and hence resort to shouting and yelling.
How to Handle a Screaming Toddler?
How can we handle a child screaming? You never know, it might even be your toddler screaming in pain. There are different reasons for your child screaming and hence, different ways to tackle each one. Let us go through these ways, one by one below –
1. Pat Them
If your toddler is screaming just to vent out additional energy, pick them up and pat them on their backs. This offers affection and support to divert their mind and regain their original behaviour. A little display of love goes a long way.
2. Give Them Attention
If your toddler is screaming to get attention, leave whatever you are doing and sit with her. Acknowledge her feelings, ask what help she needs and the reason why she has decided to scream/shout. Try to help her instead of shouting at her but gently make her understand that she can’t have your attention at all times.
3. Save from Embarrassment
If your toddler is constantly screaming in public, instead of getting embarrassed each time, try to find crowded places where screaming can go unnoticed. Simply avoiding such instances will spare you from embarrassment. But work with your child slowly on reducing the tantrum behaviour. This tactic is a temporary solution but make sure it doesn’t encourage your child to scream all the time.
4. Divert Him
If your toddler suddenly gets angry and screams to vent out his anger, don’t panic or get angry yourself. Simply divert his attention to something else or some other activity which will make him forget why he was crying for in the first place. A simple “dance for me” or “sing a song for us” can help in such situations. Try to also play an active part in these activities, at least till the child gets back to his normal behaviour.
5. Keep Her Occupied
A good and effective practice is to keep your toddler occupied at all times. Quick games, playground sessions and activities with other kids will reduce opportunities for temper tantrums.
6. Answer Softly
This is the tactic of ‘the louder she yells, the softer you respond’ whenever your toddler is throwing a tantrum. Your kid will end up matching your volume because she wants to engage. If it is in a public place, lead her away and quietly speak to her. And when she gradually stops her tantrum and displays her usual temperament, praise her. It is the positive behaviour you want to reinforce.
7. Make a Game Out of It
Now this is a noisy tactic and works best when you are in a private place. When your toddler is having a screaming fit, try to indulge his need to be loud by saying, “Let’s both be as loud as we can” and joining him in the screaming. Next say, “Now let’s see who can whisper best” and stick to a whisper. Play it like a Simon Says game, where you can also add movements like jumping around or moving your hands. Your child will be willing to play along and automatically will get distracted by his screaming.
8. Give Her Some Space
Sometimes, a child just needs to let it out. Do not engage in a yelling match or a battle of wills with your child. Give her space to let her feelings out, pull herself together and regain control on her own. Just ensure that there is nothing in the tantrum’s way that could hurt her.
There will be many such instances when your toddler might randomly throw a tantrum. The key is to be calm and not lose it like your kid yourself! So, stay firm, analyse the cause and try to help your child through it. Show some love, check if everything is fine and move onto the next steps to bring back calm to your child.
