If you’ve been trying to get pregnant for a long time, we know how it feels when you see yet another negative pregnancy test. You may think that the constant negative results have made you immune, but the disappointment is always crushing – especially when a pregnancy test comes out negative even after undergoing a fertility treatment. Dealing with this sadness can be hard. How does one cope?
How to Cope With a Negative Pregnancy Test When You’re Trying to Have a Baby Desperately?
Dealing with a negative pregnancy test when you are trying to get pregnant is never easy. But the best way forward is to stay positive and move on to the next month. A few tips to help you feel better after a negative pregnancy test are:
1. Discuss It
You will never get past the feelings of sadness or regret if you do not talk about – even if it is to yourself. This is not about venting; this is about saying positive things to yourself like “It’s okay if it didn’t happen this time, it will definitely happen someday”, or “It’ll happen when it’s meant to happen”. Always try and try again. Talk about it with people who are closest to you, like your partner, your family or your best friend. You can even talk aloud to yourself, getting rid of the ‘never’ thoughts and thinking positively.
2. Accept That Your Partner May Not Be on the Same Page As You
When you tell your partner about the negative test, remember that he may be on a different page. He may react differently to the news than you did. Avoid the instinct to be hurt, angry or offended if your partner doesn’t seem as devastated as you.
3. Act on Your Once-upon-a-time Plans
Remember that vacation to Bali you once planned but never went or that painting class you wanted to take or that book you planned to read, but you couldn’t because you were busy planning a family? Now is the time to do it. Don’t stop living just because you’re trying to get pregnant. And don’t pretend like the test didn’t come out negative. Accept that pregnancy will happen when it does, and go out there and enjoy your life.
4. Dwell a Little, but Move On
It is completely okay to give yourself space and time to feel upset after a negative pregnancy test. But remember not to dwell on it for days. Be upset if that’s what you need and then move on, focusing on what is good in your life.
5. Surround Yourself With People You Trust
You don’t need to go around telling everyone you are trying to get pregnant. You don’t need people asking you every month if you are pregnant yet. Instead, talk to people you trust and can confide in. You can tell them directly how you need them to be supportive and how they can comfort you when you need it. For example, you can tell them you don’t want to talk about fertility treatments anymore or how you don’t want to be pressurized to attend a social event.
6. Give the Doctor a Visit
You may be trying to get pregnant only for a few months, but it is better to make an appointment with a trusted gynaecologist after one or two failed attempts. She can give you some helpful tips or advice, and if in case it is a cause for concern, she can point you in the right direction of fertility treatments, both for you and your partner. At best, this can help reassure you.
7. Take a Break From Trying
Sometimes it’s best to take a step back and take a break from trying to conceive. This can refresh you and renew your sense of hope so that you can jump right back, much more confident and stronger than before.
8. Join an Online Community
A way to cope after a negative pregnancy test is to join an online community of women who are also struggling to get pregnant, just like you. This not only builds resilience but allows you to share your story and gain compassion, reassurance, and strength in return. You may even get a chance to rescue someone by offering encouragement and compassion yourself.
Conception is a process that can take months, but it doesn’t mean that it will never happen. When you finally do get pregnant, remember that the joy will negate all this heartbreak you felt.
