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As a parent, you will be the one who plays the most part in the development of your child. This not only includes physical development, but also the emotional aspects. Parents have a huge say on the mental condition and the personality the child.
Therefore, it is extremely important that you do what is best for your child when he is growing up. You must remember to praise your child when he does something well, but this is a double-edged sword- too much praising will not be good for the child. In this article, let us take a look at how to praise a child with words and actions, and when praise and encouragement for children must be given.
When is Praising your Child Considered Good?
Praising your child is good, but like everything else, it has its time and situation. You must praise your child in a few situations when it can have maximum effect on his personality.
- Praising your child is good when the praise is realistic. This means that you must not go over the top with your words, and give him a false belief. You have to ensure that the praise which you have given can be used by him as a yardstick in order to measure his progress.
- Praising is good if he has earned it. If your child has done something, even if it is something as simple as helping you out in the kitchen, you must ensure that he gets the praise he deserves.
- Praise is good when it is specific. This means that you must be as specific as possible in your praises so that he understands what he has done to deserve it.
- The most important thing to remember is that praise is best only when it is used sparingly. You must be sure to use it when he deserves it, but not for every single little thing he does. Otherwise, he might fail to understand the value of your words, and it soon has no effect on him whatsoever.
Why should you Praise your Kid?
There are many reasons as to why you should definitely be praising your child. Praise, motivation and the child’s personality are hugely interconnected, and praise can have wondrous effects on his psyche as a whole. You can easily boost his self-confidence and motivate him, with a few well-chosen words. There are no limits to what praise can do- you can help him understand that he should never compromise on his well-being, and instil a fighting spirit in your child right from a young age using praise.
You have to make sure that you choose a balance between effort-based and talent-based praise when you compliment him for his actions. The former focuses on his natural abilities, while the latter helps him understand that actions are more important than his talents. If you praise him for his talent often, it can make him feel uncomfortable towards opening up to new challenges- therefore, you should try and stick with effort-based praises as much as you can for his development.
How to Praise Kids without Spoiling them?
There are many ways to praise kids without it having a bad effect on your children. Some of these methods are given below.
1. Encourage
Encouragement is the best way to ensure that your child knows why he deserves the praise you give him. You can encourage your child to develop a skill of your liking and make him focus on it in a constructive manner. Even when the results do not deserve to be praised, you can still rally around him and give him your support by encouraging him to do better.
2. Mirroring
You have to take care to notice the small things too when you encourage your child. It can be something trivial and unimportant, like the way he keeps his toys arranged. Let him know that you are interested in every single little thing he does, and you can have a lasting mark on his psychological development. Your child will grow up to be more confident and collected with this praise.
3. Listen
It is just as important to listen to your child, and not simply praise him for whatever he has done. Most parents today have jobs and workplace issues, which leads to less time with their children. It is no hidden fact that children crave attention- therefore, you have to listen to him whenever he has to say something. Also, be empathetic towards him- you do not have to always pick your child’s side when he complains.
4. Rewards
Whenever your child gets close to some sort of an achievement, you have to praise him on it no matter how small it may be. This means that you can praise and motivate him for trying to memorise that poem, or for a tight game of soccer which your child lost. When he succeeds eventually, you can reinforce good values by saying that he proved that he can change everything with hard work with this result.
5. Reinforcement
You should also try to make your child remember something he has done that deserves praise. This leads to him believing more in himself and gaining self-confidence. You have to be genuinely interested in the actions of your child, and praise him for his accomplishments in order to cultivate diligence.
6. Questioning
Praise does not always have to be compliments- you can also ask him questions regarding the accomplishments he made. Start by asking him questions regarding how he did what he did so that he gets a better idea about his thought process and reasons as to why he was successful.
7. Eye Contact
In matters of praise, you should take care to deliver in the right manner. This means that you have to not only say the right thing but also say it right. You should maintain eye contact with your child to show that you mean what you say, and use a warm, nurturing tone of voice. Also, try to say it at their level, face-to-face if possible.
8. Construct Sentences Wisely
It is important to choose the right words when you praise your child. Your child has to understand what you mean, for the praise to be successful. Therefore, it is important that you choose the words keeping in mind the developmental stage of your child while praising him. As they get older, you can go for words which reflect how experienced they are and say them accordingly.
9. Individual Strength
No two children have the exact same skill set, so you might find your child doubting his capabilities when he sees someone do something that he cannot. In such instances, it is important that you remind of his own strengths so that he is not short on confidence. You can point out that there are things that he can do better than his peers so that he feels better.
10. Do not Overdo It
This is perhaps the most important thing that you have to keep in mind when you are praising your child. You should never go overboard with praise, as it can have detrimental effects on your child’s personality. He might lose value to your words and pay no heed to whatever you have to say when he grows up. Also, you should try not to tell him that he is the best at something, as it only leads to disappointment and loss of credibility later.
Praise is a double-edged sword that parents have to handle with care- too little or too much, both can have a bad effect on the development of the child. Therefore, you have to aim to be balanced when you offer praise to your child and help him become a better person as he grows up.
